My Life

by Kathy Land

My twin brother and I were born on Feb 19, 1936 to Jasper & Lunia Whitmire. They named us Ralph Eugene and Ruby Kathleen. My parents already had three girls, Mildred, Marie & Anna. A baby girl had died at 18 months old, her name was Clara Lafern. They also had 3 sons, Jasper Jr (Son), Gerald, & Charley. Already a large family.

My sisters were married when I was 2 yrs old. I have nieces and nephews near my age.

My parents were great. My dad yelled some but when my mom said do something you did it. They never spanked me or yelled at me, but my sister Marie and Ken & Don, her two boys, lived with us for a while when her husband was in the Navy. She liked to spank me (when she could catch me) haha.

My twin and I were very close. We used to play together for hours, we never faught, but you know what, he would never play dolls with me. I had to play cowboys or robbers and cops.

I remember when we were about three, we caught one of my moms little chickens, (it was so fluffy and pretty) and Buddy (his nickname) accidentally squeezed it to death. We just put the chicken in a box and had a funeral. When my mom came ot check on us she could hardly believe it and she wasn't too happy.

My brother, Son, Gerald & Charley had to always help my dad do all the chores, we helped too when we got big enough.

We owned a farm of 180 acres on Owl City Road. Then when I was 8 or 9 my dad sold the farm and we moved to Coffman and farmed. We lived in the biggest house I had ever seen (it had an upstairs) with 3 bedrooms up there (haha) and 1 down stairs. We attended school at Clover Bend. We had to walk 1 mile and catch the bus. It was fun ridding on the bus. Every where I went the boys liked to tease me and I would hit them with my little red purse. Of course having 3 brothers I was teased a lot, but Buddy never teased me. I remember though, when we went to town (in the wagon) we always got candy. I would eat mine real fast and want some of Buddy's, but you know what I never go tany. He would just look at me and eat it real slow.

When we were about 10 yrs old my brother, Buddy, got in a fight with a bigger boy, the boy liked to pick o nhim. Buddy was getting beat up so I stepped in and saved his hyde. Then the boy's brother started to take me on, and my brother Charley said to him, "don't even think about it," and the boy backed off. Their names were Wilson. I guess Charley was the one I liked to fight with, he was only 3 1/2 yrs older and we argued a lot. My other brothers, Son & Gerald, were always busy - they didn't have time for me until I was older.

We moved to Walnut Ridge, Ark. when I was in the 8th grade. We lived in town one year then moved to Rockford, Illinois. It was my 15th Birthday, 1951. Boy was it cold. I wanted to move right back to Arkansas. haha

I enrolled in Lincoln Jr. High. It was great. I learned to swim. I already knew how to play baseball, and basketball, but I had never learned how to swim.

Around our neighborhood there were kids all over the place. We lived in a big 2 story house on Rock River Ave. That's where I met Juanita and Rosemay. They were my best friends until I met Shirley, (my best friend forever). She was Buddy's Girlfriend and Jerry was my guy. We often double dated. We had gangs of friends.

But let me tell you about Juanita and Rose. We would walk around the neighborhood or go to a movie or Church. On Sundays, Juanita had to go to Church, so we would tell her mom we were going to church, then we would go to a movie or ride the bus down town. One day we went to Walgreens and got a coke. One of them had some cigarettes and we lit up one. It made me so sick I never had another one and always thought it was dumb to smoke.

Another time we were walking in our neighborhood when a car stopped and there were 3 guys in the car, they wanted to take us for a ride. I didn't want to go but they did (I was scared) so we got in. I rode in the front seat with the driver. They were squeezed in the back with the other guys. I remember one of them saying, "we have a gun in the glove compartment." I didn't believe them so I looked. You know what! There was a gun in there. All three of us said let us out of here. We never did that again. We sure did laugh about it though.

In August of 1954, Bud & Shirley and Jerry & I went to see an outdoor movie. When we were coming home we had an accident. Bud was driving and Shirley was killed. I never did know if we hit the other car or they hit us. It was at Sandy Hallow and 20th street (no stop signs). That was a bad time for all of us.

Then only one year later on November 20, 1955, Buddy was killed in a hunting accident. He was pheasant hunting with Mike Barr and Bobby Shickland (some of our gang). I thought I was going to die. That was only two days after my mom's birthday.

I remember thinking what will happen next. This is too much.

Then things started to turn around on Christmas 1955. Jerry and I became engaged. Well he gave me a ring for Christmas and I had to take it or no present. Haha.

On February 27, 2956 I married the most wonderful man. You got it, Jerry Land. We both worked and played baseball. There was always baseball twice a week. I played basketball one time a week, so we were busy, busy busy.

We always took Mom & Dad to Church on Sunday morning. We attended North Park Church of Christ.

Then we had the most beautiful baby girl, Vicki Colette. She was so tiny. When I came home from the hospital (Swedish American) we went to my mom and dad's. I remember Vicki was so little she had to eat every hour or so. When she woke up and cried my dad was on his feet seeing what was the matter. I had never taken care of kids or babysat so I didn't think they thought I could do it or know what to do. But boy did I surprise them. I did a good job. Jerry's dad came over to see how I looked holding a baby. He said he couldn't imagine me having a baby.

Bob & Fran Clark was our best friends at this time. They had gotten married a short while after we did. Right away they had a little boy David. We were together almost every Saturday night playing cards. It was always Canasta. Fran said she couldn't play any other game and talk at the same time.

I want to tell you about this... After Bob & Fran was married they had all our gang over to their apartment. We had a party... Everyone got drunk but me. I was pregnant at the time but I wouldn't have drank anyway. I remember seeing my brother Gerald drunk one day and how it had hurt my mom. I would never have hurt my mom like that.

Jerry drank some Vodka and was drunk & sick. Fran was passed out on their bed. Me and Mike went out on the porch and talked. He was always a good friend. Jerry never drank again. He used to go out with the guys at work on Thursday night once a month. They would laugh at him because he drank milk or pop. But did he care? No. They still liked him. He always had so many friends. We were soooo happy.

In Aug 1958, Lisa was born. Another beautiful daughter. Jerry said, I don't want any more kids. I can't take being pregnant. I thought I was the one pregnant. He did get so sick both times at the hospital. I thought he was going to faint he was so white. Haha.

In 1957 we bought our first home on 18th Street (Silver Hill). I didn't work much out of the home after I had Lisa. But we both still played baseball. He played with his team at work (Brearleys) and I played with the Brearleys girl team although I didn't work there. I always played shortstop (sometimes 3rd base).

In 1958, I became a Christian. We went to church 3x a week. Jerry always went with us. (Rock River Church of Christ) At this time Son & Hazel had moved over by Dad & Mom and took them to Church so we started to attend at Rock River and later it became 20th St.

On my birthday in 1961. It was a Sunday. Jerry Said, "I'm not going to Church this morning, I'll go tonight." I didn't think much about it. Then on Sunday night Feb 19, 1961 Jerry was baptized. We had it all.

Then trouble came. My dad and Son worked at Mechanics. It was on Harrison Ave not too far from where we lived. He had an anurism at work and daddy had someone bring him to our house in the middle of the day so I could go pick up Son's car and take Dad, Mom and Hazel to the hospital. A neighbor down the street took care of Vicki and Lisa (the Rubbles).

I remember I didn't cry. I had to be strong for Hazel. If anyone cried she cried. So I didn't want her to cry, so I didn't. She didn't drive at that time so I drove her all over. WHat ever she needed. Also my dad didn't drive so I drove them to get groceries an dpay bills or go shopping. It was a busy time.

Then he got better and came home from the hospital but couldn't go back to work so in a couple of years they moved back to Arkansas.

Then Mom & Dad thought they had to move back to help take care of Son. I had always had my mom and dad close by me and I missed them so much (you don't know how much).

Marie & Clyde lived close to us and she took us under her wing and we became real close. Vera (Jerry's mom), Marie and I used to go garage sailing or to the Salvation Army to look around. One Saturday we ewnt to the Salvation Army to look around and Marie picked up a towel or a kitch pad or something. We were talking and she walked out with it in her hand. We started laughing and she ran back and opened the door and threw it inside. That day was so much fun.

My brother Gerald and wife Barbara decided to move back to Arkansas, too. It seemed like I was losing all my family to Arkansas. I guess we were the only ones in our family who really got close to Gerald & Barb.

Son & family, Charley & family, Ches & Anna, and Jerry & I used to get together every Friday night and study the Bible. We learned so much and became close to all of them.

In a few years Marie and Clyde moved back to Arkansas and all their kids moved back except Gary, who moved to Utah with his family. Marie was like my other mother. She was 15 yrs older than me. I hated losing her, too.

I still had 2 sisters and 1 brother in Rockford. At that time I wasn't real close to Anna. It seemed she needed too much attention. She had 8 or 9 living kids and a husband who demanded her attention.

We did things with Charley & Mary. They taught us about camping and being out in the park all night. I always thought my brothers were good looking, but Charley was handsome.

On June 13, 1967 my dad died. We had just been down there on a visit and he was sick. He had hardening of the arteries and would get frustrated because he couldn't remember some things. I was 31 years old. It was really hard becaues I wasn't in Arkansas so I could make sure my mom was alright and I could take care of her. When it's your parents long distance is not fun.

Only one year later on Sept 1, 1968 another blow. My brother Son had a fatal stroke and died. Hazel picked herself up, became a nurse, raised 4 kids, learned how to drive. She was great. She lived next door to my mom and when mom needed her she was there.

My mom lived 8 years after dad died. She was sick for a while in the hospital. I went down for two weeks and helped take care of her. About a week after I came home she passed away on Aug 31 1975.

I think that was the only time Marie ever really hurt me. Mom was in the hospital and I had to come back home so I called everyday to see how she was. I never could tell how she was when I talked to Marie so Jerry said, "why don't you call Hazel, she's a nurse and she might know more about it." Marie found out I called Hazel and she called me and yelled at me and said I don't trust her. I cried and cried. I never told anyone about it. But we were never as close after that even when she apologized.

Around this time in my life we lived in Sycamore. Jerry had a janitorial service (Tops Bldg Service). When bad things happen I try to keep busy. And we were busy at that time. We attended Church in Dekalb. Made a lot of friends. Our kids just about grew up in Sycamore and Dekalb.

We had grown up in the Church in Rockford, so Dekalb wasn't the same. Although the friendships are worth remembering (The Smiths, The James's, I can't remember all of their names).

Our girls always had lots of friends, kids were always at our house.

Then we moved back to Rockford in 1972. Vikci was a Junior and Lisa a Freshman. They were happy girls always fun. Their dad sure did love to aggrivate them and their friends. Haha. I remember Kathy Matthews was still Vicki's friend and Val DuSavage was Lisa's. They were at our house a lot.

I remember we had lots & lots of friends in the Church. The Horsmans & DuSavage we played Tennis with, also cards. The Daveys, Don & Nellie, we were in Bible Hour with, also the DuSavages were in Bible Hour. We used to meet once a week and plan lessons to teach th kids. We always had a plan. After we planned the lessons we ate at whoevers home we were at and laughed till we hurt (those were the days).

Even after losing so many loved ones life went on. It had to go on. What could you do but pray it would get better. And sometimes it was better.

Vicki went to college (Harding) in August 1973. List got kicked out of scool for non-attendance but later got her GED. I sure did miss Vic when she went off to school. But I was glad she could go. She really did grow up when she went away. She was always beautiful and smart. I remember one holiday or break from school she brought two girls home. They lived in Arkansas (I can't remember their names). She was in college two years then she got a job she liked and didn't go back to college. My girls always worked from the age 15 years old.

Lisa didn't want to go away to school. I think she was afraid to go. Her mom woulldn't be there. Haha.

I really did love my girls. I still do.

Lisa got married on Feb 27 1981 on our 25th Wedding Anniversary to Jimmy Dale Earnhart. They moved to Florida right away. Jim went into the Service then on May 9 1981. Vicki married Keith Orelle Fausett and they went to California but didn't stay very long.

In 1979 Lisa had a baby girl named Kathleen Nicole Land. The baby only lived a short time. It broke Lisa's heart. She was never the same after that. Another blow for the family.

On July 17, 1985 Teal Colette Fausett was born. We were ready for her. Jerry kept saying we need a grand kid. I kept telling him we couldn't do much about that. Haha.

Teal was so beautiful and bald like her mom when she was a baby. But she looked like her dad. She was 18 mo's old when her grandpa Jerry passed away. Heart attack on Feb 4, 1987.

One more time I had to be strong. It was really hard being strong. The girls were great. They took turns staying with me until I had to tell them they needed to be home with their families. I have no doubt they would have continued to take turns staying with me forever. That was my girls.

I never had a doubt that they loved me. Sometimes I thought they loved their Dad more than me. But I was happy they thought so much of their dad. Sometimes Jerry & Lisa butted heads. They were so much alike it was unbelieveable. Vicki was like her dad in a different way. So I had a Gerry and two girl Jerry's. Haha.

I think that's why I've always liked my space or alone time. But they were great.

What a life. I've always been blessed. Even when there was heartache I felt I was blessed.

After Jerry passed away I sold my building on Kishwaukee and moved in with Vicki, Keith & Teal for almost a year. At that time they lived in our house on Amherst Ln which they had bought. Then I bought a house at 31 Congress and started babysitting with Teal. She was 2 1/2 or 3 and so much fun. She always had a passell of kids to play with. Then on July 18, 1990 Michael Keith Fausett was born. Boy was he pretty or handsome. I got to take care of him for years. It was great. Teal was 5 years older than Mike so she helped me take him for walks and played with him. She liked to push him in the stroller. She liked to walk pertty fast.

Written on January 19th, 2008

On Feb 4, 1987 Jerry had a heart attack and died instantly. Almost 21 yrs ago.

I was heartbroken but I had two girls and a granddaughter I had to be there for. So I was strong or everyone thought I was. Being strong again.

On Feb 8, 2003 my baby girl Lisa died of septic shock. I remember going home and being in that empty house all by myself. Vicki my wonderful daughter had been with me all night then had dropped me off. She was still heartbroken over Teal my granddaughter of 17 years was killed in an auto accident on Dec 26, 2002. I don't think she could mourn her sister Lisa properly.

It's been 5 years now since we lost our baby girls. It seems like only yesterday. Will we ever get to feeling better!!!! I don't think so.

I have lost so much in my life you would think I would get used to it. But that never happens.

I think when I lost my twin at an early age it damaged me a little. I hope MIke doesn't experience what I did. It's no fun. He loved his sister so much. It's really hard to trust anyone.